Category Archives: Uncategorized

Compliments

Farmer Orville was mowing his vast lawn when I visited this morning. He turned off the machine and waved me toward the porch, where we sat in the shade and talked. The farm dogs, Ruby Puppy, Bud and Reba, reeking … Continue reading

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Talking Texting

The legendary Chicago newspaper columnist and Pulitzer Prize winner, Mike Royko, once received a letter from a tourist who had been visiting from California. The man and his girlfriend had taken in a movie. By his own admission, they talked … Continue reading

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Snakes on a Plane

Breaking News. The White has announced that the plane carrying Donald Trump to a Mideastern summit is a fake presidential plane. The fake plane will land in Moscow by this evening and drop Trump and wife Melania off, with no … Continue reading

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The Landlord

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Finch, Congratulations on your two children learning to fly. As agreed, I provided free food for them to keep you from the welfare rolls. There is just one problem. You left a dirty nest in your … Continue reading

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A Picture at an Exhibition

Photographer Hilda Clayton was standing, camera at the ready. So, when a mortar explosion happened in front of her, she snapped the photo. She died one second later, alongside fellow soldiers, all of them training in live fire drills in … Continue reading

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Wet Dreams

Six inches of rain fell yesterday, and more is coming down right now. Boats at Piasa Harbor were upended, and folks who lived alongside Piasa Creek now live in the creek. Farmer Orville‚Äôs son Mike showed me a video he … Continue reading

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After the Storm

I and my cat were sound asleep when my cell phone began beeping a storm alarm. A possible tornado was in the area. The sky turned purple. It might have been a biblical sand storm or a wave off Oahu, … Continue reading

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Ribbons

The sunbathing ribbon snake is draped across a pile of wood next to my storage shed. The snake is three feet long, thick and yellow striped, and its hot pink tongue flickers. I resist the urge to pick it up … Continue reading

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Gas v Bomb

We have learned today that gassing babies to death is worse than bombing babies to death. Assad has finally crossed the line. So long as he bombed babies to death, he was okay. But when President Trump saw those writhing, … Continue reading

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Cheers

There are certain threads of our moral fabric that are so hidebound and sacred that even a tree hugger like me is devoted to those institutions. Football. Barbeques. Respecting elders. Family. Religion, with which I hold no truck, but I … Continue reading

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