Our Lid-tard Friend

G. Gordon Liddy, the Watergate burglary mastermind, has descended into Hell.

From the New York Underworld Times: “G. Gordon Liddy has joined the billions of Evil Ones who preceded him in life.

“Liddy was greeted with a tickertape parade with floats featuring old pals Senator Joe McCarthy and lawyer Roy Cohn going down on one another, dictator Pol Pot eating a child, President Andrew Jackson wearing a coat fashioned of scalps, Marjorie Taylor Greene’s ‘Grampy,’ General George Armstrong Custer wearing an Indian heads necklace, and many billions more.

“‘I mean, he just isn’t well screwed on, is he?’ said President Richard Nixon, when he was alive. He is ‘a little nuts.’

“Liddy was met by dead Nixon and the Devil at the fourth level of Hell, where residents perform a living version of the Hieronymus Bosch painting ‘The Garden of Earthly Delights,’ and he was stripped and had a burning poker inserted into his ass. His living quarters will be in a fiery furnace with Adolph Hitler’s staff.

“‘We had good times,’ former Vice President Spiro Agnew, in line for a morning buggery, said of his old friend Liddy.

“‘You guys,’ Satan said, shaking his head. ‘Hijinks, thuggery, murderers—you killed thousands of American boys in Vietnam. They just don’t make them like that anymore.’”

 

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